By Mary Owen, Celebrate Recovery National Training Coach
My husband, Mac, and I both grew up in Christian homes with loving parents. There is no perfect family, though. For instance, my mother suffered with mental health issues. While growing up, I thought I would never struggle with that because I felt strong and invincible.
Mac and I married and set up our perfect little home. We were ready to experience whatever life brought our way. We believed our love could conquer all things. However, Mac decided following Jesus wasn’t the most adventurous life. I would wake up in the middle of the night worrying what others would think if they knew how messed up our marriage had become.
I started experiencing panic attacks, and my stomach stayed in knots. I was continually going to the doctor for medications. I didn’t realize my secrets and fears were affecting not only my spiritual life, but also my emotional and physical well-being.
I was struggling in a cloud of depression and anxiety as we were walking down a path of destruction. I finally decided I needed to quit trying to be Mac’s Holy Spirit. I realized he had to make his own decisions and face the consequences for them.
When I realized I was powerless and my life was unmanageable, I decided to focus my eyes on Jesus and hold on to God’s promises. I began to experience a new freedom and hope that I never thought possible, even while Mac was in his darkest time of addiction.
Something amazing happened as my life began to transform. Mac saw something new in me. It was peace, and he wanted it, too. Then, when I least expected it, he turned his life and will over to the care of God!
Now we were on a God adventure together! I know there will still be struggles while on this earth. Today, when worry or fear tries to take over, I replace those toxic thoughts with God’s truths. I talk to my sponsor, my accountability partners, and my husband about how I feel instead of stuffing those feelings down.
If you are trying to do life alone, there is a better way. We are better together with relationships in Christ. You can find a Celebrate Recovery® near you for support and strength to start your recovery journey.
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12 NIV).