Dear Suicidal Me:
If you’re reading this, you’re not in a good place. The track repeating in your head is full of lies. You have value and worth. You are loved.
You probably don’t believe me, and that’s ok too. Remember what Christ said about you and know he would have paid the ultimate price for you even if you were the only sinner in the world. He has a plan for you. These thoughts are coming because YOUR plan for you isn’t working.
The depression is deep right now, and you’re not going to be rationalized out of it. I know it’s hard to reach out. Not everyone knows how to help you, but some do. Maybe someone will say something that isn’t helpful. They are saying it because they care. Forgive them and find someone who will listen and let you hurt. You don’t need a fixer, but deep down, you know you need a friend and how to find them.
I know these thoughts keep coming, and you know how to stay safe, but you need to know you are not rational. If you think you can make a rational decision and do something we haven’t agreed to, break the glass and sound the alarm. NO ONE is going to judge you. If they do, we don’t want them in our life anyway. We are fine with our REAL forever family!
You are drowning in these thoughts and will not swim out of them. Stop fighting and take care of yourself. Depression will make it hard, but be honest with the people that love you. They will give you grace.
Take some deep breaths. Do a puzzle, go outside, take a walk, or take a nap. Drink some water. Rest. Call a friend and don’t talk about you… or do. Whatever it takes. Slow down and know we will fight this fight when we are ready. When you get out of this red state, I’ll be waiting to work through our recovery plan. I’m not in a hurry so take whatever time you need.
You make a difference. Being here is not a failure. It’s a test, and you will pass it. That’s what we do. We fight and don’t let this control our life.
God loves you, and I love you. I’m thankful for your courage to get us back to where we can fight together. I believe in you. I’m thankful for the work we’ve done to prepare and the network we have built for times like these. I’m thankful we have sobriety in our mental health; this moment will not turn into weeks and months. I’m thankful we have a program to help us grow from this when we’re ready. But, more than anything, I’m thankful that Jesus isn’t done with us yet.
When I see you soon, I will remind you that I love you way more than you know.
If you would like to learn how to start your own Celebrate Recovery ministry, to contact your Celebrate Recovery Rep, please visit: https://crgroups.info/. To get involved in an already existing Celebrate Recovery ministry near you, please visit: https://locator.crgroups.info/.