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Pastors: That Divorce Rate Stat You Quoted Was Probably Wrong

Since I have written quite extensively about the abuse of stats by evangelicals and the media in the past, it was refreshing to see a recent article at the Gospel Coalition show some new data that corrects some erroneous divorce rate statistics which seem to get thrown around the Internet, in the media, and, unfortunately, in the pulpit. The stat in question was that Christians divorce at roughly the same rate as the world. But what did the actual research show-- particularly when research practicing Christians?
People who seriously practice a traditional religious faith---whether Christian or other---have a divorce rate markedly lower than the general population. The factor making the most difference is religious commitment and practice. What appears intuitive is true. Couples who regularly practice any combination of serious religious behaviors and attitudes---attend church nearly every week, read their bibles and spiritual materials regularly; pray privately and together; generally take their faith seriously, living not as perfect disciples, but serious disciples---enjoy significantly lower divorce rates than mere church members, the general public, and unbelievers.
The article draws from research found in Christians Are Hate-Filled Hypocrites... and Other Lies You've Been Told, the 2010 book by Bradley Wright (and for which I wrote the foreword), as well as an article by W. Bradford Wilcox and Elizabeth Williamson in American Religions and the Family. Specifically, the research shows that couples who are active in their faith are much less likely to divorce. Catholic couples were 31% less likely to divorce; Protestant couples 35% less likely; and Jewish couples 97% less likely, which in itself is quite impressive, I must say. So what does this mean for you, for me, and for our churches? I see three takeaways: There will unfortunately still be divorce; discipleship is an integral part of marriage; and we must be careful when quoting statistics. Divorce Isn't Going Away This is an unfortunate reality, but a reality nonetheless. I, like many of you, am a child of divorced parents (as is Donna, my wife). My children have had friends whose parents have divorced. I've had friends in the ministry who have divorced. And while we sometimes have a tendency to think of it as just another part of our culture, it should break our hearts to see marriages end. Erwin Lutzer correctly stated "in marriage, the goal is holiness, not happiness." Marriage was intended to be a God-ordained commitment between one husband and one wife for one lifetime as one flesh. Sin has broken that, and we see those effects all around us. However, we have the Power in us to overcome. Christ is faithful to hold marriages together when they are centered on Him and His redemptive work on the cross. If our marriage is focused on holiness, happiness will inevitably follow. I've never met a couple who has divorced because they were pursuing God too much. Discipleship Is Integral to a Healthy Marriage Our spiritual growth affects everything about us. To build on the previous point, holiness does not just happen. Sanctification and holiness are the products of work. Marriage is like a muscle. It does not become stronger unless it is exercised. This is partly on my mind because of my Sunday message at Grace Church-- I'll be preaching on adultery and divorce the next two weeks as we work through the Sermon on the Mount. Divorce is a scourge and part of the answer is well-discipled Christians. Be Careful When Quoting Stats Christians aren't the only group to be misrepresented. Parents of special needs children are victims of this as well. But as pastors who are charged with proclaiming Truth (with a big T), we must also commit to proclaiming truth (with a little t). I can't tell you how many times I've heard a speaker or pastor misquote a stat or tell a story that was actually not true. For that matter, I've done it myself at times-- but that does not mean we cannot all do better. I've been in the audience or backstage at conferences when a stat that came out of my office was quoted incorrectly by another speaker. And as for your little stories, Snopes.com exists for a reason, pastors. Please, I beg of you, use it. Stories and stats may help you make your point, but please research, confirm, and cite them. One reason this is so important in this area is that when we say things like "the divorce rate for Christian couples and non-Christian couples is the same," we give the impression that Christ makes no difference in our lives and in our marriages. That is offensive to the work of the Spirit in us and simply not true. We must not give Satan a foothold in our marriage, and bad stats can do just that. So, do couples who say they are "Christians" divorce often? Sure. Almost 8 of 10 Americans say they are Christians and they, well, look like the other 2 out of 10 who don't claim to be Christians. But, when a pastor says, "Christians and non-Christians divorce at the same rate," that is not what they people hear. If you are a pastor, they think that you should know what a Christian is, and that you must be saying that Christians (people who follow Christ) divorce at the same rate as the rest-- and that's not true. Marriage is a gift from God. One for which I am extremely grateful. So, pastors, please don't undermine it with inaccurate stats or misleading citations of those stats. UPDATE: For those wanting to know how to avoid and prevent using bad stats, see the follow-up to this post: Curing Pastoral Stats Abuse: How Not to Be a Stats Abuser or Confuser.
(Thanks to Jonathan Howe, my blog administrator, for shaping this post.)

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5 Reasons Church Covenants Work

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Learn From Failure

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How to Find Joy in Your Relationships

How to Find Joy in Your Relationships

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Why You Should Launch Mental Health Groups at Your Church

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If you are reading this article then most likely you have a passion, burden or possibly a curiosity about mental health and the role the church can play in effectively caring for those affected by a mental health disorder. The following are a few reasons why I got involved and took action to launch mental health groups at our church. 1. I Needed It! My wife and I have been in ministry almost 30 years, serving in several different pastoral roles. However, we never imagined that we would be serving in our current role at our church now. We are the Restoration Life Group Pastors at New Life Church in Little Rock, AR, overseeing small groups for individuals impacted by mental health, addiction, grief, abuse, or trauma. "When we were experiencing those dark times over and over again without any end in sight, it began to drain us." My wife grew up in a family that was impacted by addiction and—unknowingly—mental health disorders. 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"Since launching the groups, it has been remarkable to see the impact that the group has had on us and others who have attended."  Many attend for the first time feeling timid, broken, exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed, confused, angry, fearful or even relieved, excited to find others in similar circumstances with familiar storylines. The stories are heartbreaking, but the encouragement and hope found within those stories is nothing short of God’s faithfulness and grace extended. We’re building a network of support that goes much further than a weekly meeting.  It has become a community of friendships that understand and encourage one another. 3. To Provide a Resource for Our Staff and Leaders. Our Family and Living Grace Groups have become a resource for our pastors and ministry leaders to now be able to refer family members who are struggling with a teen, spouse, or a loved one with mental illness or battling addiction. During a past life group launch, a pastor sought me out and introduced me to a man who was in a serious crisis with a family member. I spent the rest of the evening listening to him and sharing a portion of my journey. He started attending our Family Grace Group and was able to find a Christ-centered ministry recovery center for his daughter. The Grace Group provided vital encouragement for the parents during their daughter's time away. A few months after she returned, she attended our group and shared what God did—and is doing—in her life. Needless to say, the entire group shed some tears of joy and celebration! Our church staff can now easily connect individuals and families to a place where they know they will be supported. This equips and empowers our staff to effectively care for those who enter our churches. I knew when we launched our support group that it would be our goal to see these groups implemented at all of our New Life campuses across the state of Arkansas. We currently have 12 campuses with the vision of 50 statewide. As a pastor, I highly recommend every church implement some form of mental health group or ministry.   The Grace Alliance is an amazing resource to assist you with training, materials, and support. This article was originally published by The Grace Alliance and is reposted here with permission. Dale Hull | Restoration Pastor, New Life Church, Little Rock, AR
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