My name is Lacey. I’m 28 years old. I have four children, and I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ.
I was molested when I was 6 years old. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but I knew it wasn’t right. Growing up, I tried everything to escape how I felt on the inside, while my mom had no idea how to raise my siblings and me.
I started sneaking out at 12 years old. My friends and I would steal four-wheelers or cars to ride around the back roads, smoke weed, and get drunk. One time, an old friend of mine and I took a minivan and skipped three states. I ended up in a juvenile detention center. My mom became my best friend and started smoking weed and drinking with me. I started selling crack and doing cocaine at age 13. My best friend at the time overdosed and died. It rocked my world. I knew that should have been me.
I moved to Chicago to try and start fresh. I was only there for two years when I made my way back to drugs. I picked up right where I left off, except this time with meth. I was always up and had no idea what sleep was anymore. My life consisted of selling and doing drugs. I became pregnant at 16 and moved back to Oak Grove, Louisiana. The father of my children and I were both young and foolish. We were in a relationship for eight years, and he was very controlling and jealous.
Our second son passed away when he was 3 months old. The hardest thing I ever had to do was bury my son. Things between the father and me grew worse. We were both deeply hurt and grieving, but neither one of us knew how to process our emotions. My solution was to numb my feelings with crystal meth. I didn’t have to feel or care about anything anymore.
We found out I was pregnant with our fourth child, and I couldn’t stop using drugs. I used them my entire pregnancy until two weeks before I delivered. I remember hitting my knees, crying out to God, and asking him to have mercy on my baby. I asked God to protect him from my selfishness. And God did just that. My son was born healthy and is very intelligent. Psalm 100:5 states, “For the LORD is good, His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations” (NKJV).
After I came home from the hospital, I began shooting up meth.
My soul was crying out to God for help, but my flesh just kept feeding my addiction. Two months later, the police found me unresponsive on the couch. They searched the house and charged me with paraphernalia possession with intent to distribute Schedule II and Schedule IV drugs and with possession of a stolen firearm. They took me to jail, and CPS got involved and took my kids away. I got out nine months later on probation. I had so much pain inside me, the only way I knew to numb it was to start using needles again. I didn’t care if I lived or died; I knew drugs would kill me, and I was okay with that. All I wanted to do was escape the pain. At the same time, I longed for something different, a new way of life. I ended up going back to jail.
I realize now it was the door to my new life that is hidden in Christ. My drug court officer ordered me to long-term rehabilitation home called Transformations. I showed up in the back of a police car handcuffed and shackled. I surrendered my life to Christ, and God started changing me from the inside out. As 2 Corinthians 5:17-18 proclaims, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us” (NIV).
February 2017 was when I made the decision that would change my life forever. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (NIV).
Everything that was once cursed became blessed. The day I was supposed to lose my parental rights completely because my caseworker told me it would happen, God showed up in the courtroom and stopped it. Now no one can ever tell me that God can’t move mountains. I walked out of there with just enough time to complete my case plan. Romans 8:28 says, “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose” (CSB). Three months later, I went back to court and was awarded full custody of my children.
The Celebrate Recovery® community surrounded me, stayed by my side, and loved me through all my ups and downs. My children came to live with me at the Transformations recovery home. I started learning how to be a godly mom.
God is so faithful. Later on in my recovery journey, I met a wonderful, God-fearing man who loves me. I didn’t think guys like him existed. We are now married and have just bought a house. He treats my children like they are his own and helps me provide a different life for them. Joel 2:25 says, “[God] will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten” (NIV). God’s promises are real, and his mercies are new every day!
Three years ago, my life was full of pain, hurt, sorrow, disappointment, and shame. Today, I am filled with God’s goodness and led by the Holy Spirit. I have a hope and a future.
If there is hope for me, there is hope for you, too. Keep coming back to Celebrate Recovery. God has “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV).