I’m a believer who struggles with alcoholism, drug addiction, and lust. My name is Scott.
I’m a man who for 25 years of my life chose a life of sin. I abused alcohol, drugs, and sex to drown out all the issues and fears that I faced in life. This behavior all started when I was a young, scrawny kid growing up in an average home.
I was born with a lazy left eye. As an infant I experienced surgeries which resulted in having to wear a little set of glasses with a patch over one eye. I often got picked on at school or around my neighborhood and felt “less than” when around others.
My Dad introduced me to alcohol at a young age by allowing me to sip on his beers and mixed drinks. He often traveled with his job and brought home different varieties of beers from around the country. I began collecting the empties, which slowly led to me having one of the largest beer can and bottle collections in downstate Illinois. Alcohol had already become my idol.
I loved the feeling that alcohol gave me, which eventually led to a fascination with drugs. I loved smoking dope, popping pills, using cocaine and experimenting with hallucinogens. High school became a blur with parties in the school parking lot every morning, LSD trips, rock concerts, drug and alcohol induced blackouts, countless hangovers, and an arrest for drug possession on school grounds.
After high school I skipped college and landed a job with a large firm in our community. I immediately hooked up with older adults who had better drug connections that I ever dreamed of. I began selling drugs to feed my own addictions and to make a little more money on the side.
I fell away from my high school friends quickly and my addictions led to wrecking cars and wrecking lives. My girlfriend and I moved in together. After being raised in an alcoholic home, she became my biggest enabler. I was already into pornographic magazines, movies, and attending adult clubs. Drunken arguments, verbal and physical abuse became a regular event. We did manage to have 3 great children but work was my life when the kids were young as my job had me traveling all over the country.
I took the party to wherever I went. I was a functioning alcoholic and addict and what some call a “poser.” I looked like I had it all together on the outside, but was dying on the inside. I was the poster child for self-will run riot. I felt lost and alone trapped inside this body.
My lust addiction led to infidelity in my marriage and I struggled for years with unsuccessful sobriety attempts. Lying, gambling, and stealing became character defects and I was still getting high or drinking before, during, and after work. I was angry and frustrated most of the time, was close to losing my job and the bottom was falling out. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and thought regularly of ending my life.
I had no relationship with Jesus Christ, yet while sitting in my garage one day I experienced a moment of clarity as my life passed before my eyes. I’m absolutely convinced that it was God speaking to me clearly. He said: “Something had to change.” The next morning, I checked myself into a local drug and alcohol treatment center. That was December 26, 1993, the day I took my last drink and my last drug.
I want so much to tell you that life was a bed of roses after I got sober, but it wasn’t. I joined the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, found a sponsor, and started working the 12 steps.
After a year of sobriety, I attended a men’s spiritual retreat. They told me that God loved me more than anyone, even my parents, my wife, and my kids. I surrendered my life to the one and only true Higher Power, Jesus Christ, that weekend. Little did I know how my life would change forever.
Unfortunately, I was powerless over the lives of others around me. My newfound spirituality was difficult for my wife and children to adjust to. As much as I wanted to salvage my marriage the damage was done. After several years of hope, counseling, and prayer, my marriage ended after 19 years.
Thank God, recovery was still a priority in my life. It’s led to daily Bible reading, prayer and devotions, prison ministry, sponsoring other men, mission trips, a new marriage to a beautiful Christian woman and starting Celebrate Recovery in our church! After years as a CR State Representative, I currently serve with my wife, Veronica as the CR North Central Regional Director. We help support this great ministry in as many churches as we can!
Recovery always happens in relationships, never on its own. It’s all about our mind being transformed. I love what God’s word says in the book of Ephesians, chapter 4 verses 21-24: Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God — truly righteous and holy (NLT).
It doesn’t matter what you’re struggling with or what your issues are. There is nothing too big in your life that the love of Christ can’t forgive, heal, or restore. He is the way, the truth, and the life!
I’m a believer who struggles with alcoholism, drug addiction, and lust, and my name is “Child of the One True King”!