Pastor, if you’re like most men out there, you’re probably still looking for just the right gift for your wife this mother’s day. You may be searching the Internet, walking the aisles of a department store, or thinking through the perfect lunch.
But you may already have the perfect gift within your grasp.
In just about any survey you find about women’s needs, affection is at the top of the list. Affection symbolizes security, comfort, and approval. When a husband shows affection to his wife, he sends a powerful message to her: “I care for you. I’ll take care of you. I’ll protect you. I’m concerned for your needs. I approve of you. I’m proud of you.”
Colossians 3:19 says, “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” (NIV) The Amplified Bible says this in the verse, “be affectionate, sympathetic with them.” As long as Jesus Christ is first place in your life, it’s impossible to give your wife too much honor. The more you appreciate her, the more you love her, the more you show affection for her, the more she will mature in Christ.
You can learn to be affectionate. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t grow up in an affectionate house. You learned a lot of things later in life that you didn’t learned at home. Affection is a habit. Like any habit it takes time to develop. It may be awkward at first. But when you begin to do it, it will become part of your marriage, and you’ll see dramatic results.
Here are four ways you can show affection to your wife:
1. With your words — Every wife needs a steady diet of compliments. Keep her emotional tank full. Compliment her on how she looks. If you need some help, learn from the Song of Solomon. The guy raves about his wife. He’s a pro at expressing affection.
2. With your actions — Plan actions that show you’re thinking of your wife even when you’re not with her. Leave her a note that she’ll find in the middle of the day. Call her up just to say you love her.
3. With your touch — Holding hands is still a great thing to do. I love to see couples holding hands when they’re walking into church. I think it’s a good sign. And hugs do wonders, too.
4. Through focused attention — Look her in the eye when she talks to you. Give her your full attention. Nothing turns a woman on more. It says you value her opinion. You value what she’s talking about. In your wife’s mind, conversation is affection.
photo credit: drb62