The Best Gift of 2011: Be a Better Spouse

By Staff

Smalley'sStrained marriages begin to break under the pressures of trying to have the perfect Christmas. During a time that is supposed to be one of the happiest and most joyful, many couples feel overwhelmed and frustrated. Gift giving can become a financial strain. The added busyness at Christmas can cause spouses to feel neglected and frustrated. Shopping for gifts, decorating, cooking, and baking can all easily take priority over quality time with your special someone.

According to Dr. Gary Smalley, “The key to a close-knit marriage is maximizing the times together and minimizing the times apart. The more activities you can do as a couple, the better are the chances that you’ll develop a deep, lasting relationship.”Another approach that can help couples make it through these tough times while still honoring their spouse is to choose love in all circumstances. Every day a married man or woman must make a choice…choosing love or anger…and it isn’t as easy as it sounds. However, imagine the change in conversations you have with your spouse if you both make an intentional choice to respond in love.

“You can strengthen your marriage this busy Christmas season, with one simple loving question: How can I become a better mate? Can you imagine the ecstatic feeling you would have if your mate volunteered the question? The honor you would feel would be overwhelming. So how about asking the question yourself?”

—Gary & Norma Smalley, 4 Days to a Forever Marriage

There are many other practical approaches to choosing loving responses instead of the angry ones. In ?4 Days to a Forever Marriage: Choosing Love or Anger by Dr. Gary & Norma Smalley, couples can quickly address these major marriage issues:

  1. Loving words and actions?
  2. Communication and resolving anger?
  3. Affection and intimacy?
  4. Finding treasures through the trials??

A few moments spent together reading how one couple has learned to choose love over anger can fill your Christmas season with joy. After 47 years of marriage and ministry, Dr. Gary & Norma Smalley team up on a new book from New Leaf Press titled, 4 Days to a Forever Marriage: Choosing Love or Anger. They speak directly to those considering marriage, those currently married, and those who need to save their marriage. Download a free chapter of the book at for yourself or to share with others. The best gift you can give your marriage is discovering how to become a better spouse. Staff

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