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  • Catherine

    I can tell you why the single adult population is under represented in churches, and it doesn’t have anything to do with selfishness. It’s because of the negative way Single people are treated. According to the US Census Bureau there are (as of 2010) 96 million people in the United States who are unmarried. That means 43 percent of all Americans over the age of 18 are single. Why are we still the invisible people?? I have made my commitment to Christ, and I should be able to walk into any sanctuary anywhere in the world and as an unmarried, Christian woman be fully accepted as a member of the family of God. Unfortunately the reality has always been somewhat different, and I’m not the only person who feels that way, as is evidenced by several articles available on the internet.

    Single people feel ignored and lonely at Church:
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/religion/10016925/Single-people-feel-ignored-and-lonely-at-Church.html

    Blog: I only feel alone at church:
    http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2010/05/13/i-only-feel-alone-at-church/

    Blog: How churches marginalize single people and how they can do better:
    http://blogs.psychcentral.com/single-at-heart/2013/12/how-churches-marginalize-single-people-and-how-they-can-do-better/

    Singles marginalization and misunderstanding:
    http://thewartburgwatch.com/2013/02/22/singles-marginalization-and-misunderstanding/

    Single Christians feel unsupported by family-focused churches:
    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/isolated-single-christians-feel-unsupported-by-familyfocused-churches-8586640.html

    I continue weekly church attendance, but just like the people interviewed in the articles, I’ve never felt completely accepted. I’ve always known that because I am a single person, I’m viewed differently and that there is a point beyond which I will never be invited.
    It isn’t supposed to be like that.

  • christianpundit

    I would leave 3. “Selfishness” off the list of reasons, or at least find a way of re-wording it, as it is not true of all never- married adults over the age of 30, and it needlessly perpetuates the many negative stereotypes married Christians tend to harbor against adult (adult as in, anyone past the age of 25 – 30) singles.

    There are many Christian singles such as myself who desired marriage, we were trusting God to send us a spouse, but we are still single into our 40s. I’m really tired of preachers and conservative Christian think tanks pretending to know why I am single, and blaming me for my single status, or making assumptions about me (such as, I must hate marriage, be a man hating feminist, etc).

    Churches and Christian culture need to respect single status as much as they do married. Ironically, I think if churches stopped worshipping marriage (yes, conservative Christians have turned marriage and having children into IDOLS), there might be more marriage as a result. You create all manner of hang ups and phobias in adult singles when marriage is emphasized as much as it is in the evangelical and Baptist churches.

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  • Robert

    Not saying a good marriage isn’t a great way to live…but I think the ‘church’ has emphasized marriage so much as being the model for members that many who dont feel less value.

  • robert

    Good topic. I am writing my own book about this as well. However, I disagree that we are intended by God to grow up and marry! Says who? We are made for God’s glory. Marriage is for those who cannot control themselves. There is much much more to life than just marriage. Ask Paul, ask Jesus…if you could!

  • Anna Kassandra

    The topic is quite timely. Great that there’s a topic about this. Now, we know the challenge. Where’s the possible solution or at least plan of action?

  • I agree with the key points in this article. Kris knows what she’s talking about. By God’s grace, I was able to help start a ministry to single and single-again adults that has grown in 1 year to 1700+ people from over 200 churches, 200-300 attending every week, and thousands of people from across the country and around the world watching our weekly teaching videos and downloading our handouts from http://www.ChristianSinglesInDenver.com.

  • pastor r temituro

    Compromise in teachings is a strong reason . churches rather have single couples than advise them against cohabitation for fear of losing such members . am sure you will shock to know tye percentage of people who never marry but have raised a family is close to a quater of world families

  • I believe internet plays very important role as well. We rather sitting in front of computers than going out, which produces a lot of singles.

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