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  1. STRESS-Inducing Phrase: “I know your plate is full but…” OR “I don’t care if you agree with me or not… JUST SUBMIT!” ; ))

    • Just to clarify. Self-initiated clarification –
      I meant my earlier post to be TONGUE-IN-CHEEK! : )) I had been a senior pastor’s wife for 25 years. My husband has often said to me “I know your plate is full but…” (which I don’t mind!) – however, he never had to use the second phrase: “I don’t care if you agree with me or not, just submit!” (because he is thoroughly reasonable… and because I AM submissive!)

  2. As Geoff mentions, “these examples are an exaggeration and compilation..” are only the beginning of such a number that we could compile a directory-sized book. There is micro-managing, we’ve done this for awhile now we need to change, the senior pastor’s use of authority to do it according to his preference, even not his full knowledge of what may be taking place in lives of some people of true life-change within someone’s walk with Christ.
    Having been on both sides of that senior pastor desk, an associate pastor on a multi-staff and senior pastor with a multi-staff, As an associate I understand and desire to share and assist to carry any load the pastor may want me to carry. An associate should be not just another staff member “doing” ministry within their responsibilities but an armor-bearer. I have always viewed ministry as we are in this together, no matter what.
    I have even bigger statements; no two people will always agree on every point; i.e. what or how something should be done, so how do we openly discuss this without any aggravations or impediments to the relationship. How can I tell the senior pastor he is micro-managing. For realistically whether its one of the senior pastors sermons, a ministry area of an associate there will always be times when things are well and not as well as desired. Hey, we have all preached a sermon we thought would be MUCH better than what came out of our mouths. Ministries that may not have flourished as we prayed, planned, prepared.
    My point is simple; we are a team, yes we understand and respect authority, but allow each one the room to pursue their ministries, have appropriate accountability, honest open dialog even if we may not agree on each item. Yet refuse to allow anything to begin even a small crack in our staff’s cohesiveness. For aren’t we smart enough to see the need in exerting our energies outwardly in the fight to reach more people for Christ than internally for our personal preference. Just some thoughts from someone who has been there, done that.