Archives For Recovery

Do you have a wound that won’t heal?

“A wound that has been present for more than six weeks is considered a chronic wound and may need special treatment,” according to Dr. Prasad Kilaru, a plastic surgeon and director of the Washington Center for Wound Healing and Hyperbaric Medicine.

beauty girl cryHave you ever had a cut that required stitches? Have you ever had a surgery of any kind? Deep cuts and surgical procedures leave wounds that often require stitches. Eventually the stitches are removed and the pain goes away. What do you do about wounds you can’t see? How do you begin to stitch emotional wounds embedded deep within the recesses of one’s heart?

Hidden wounds are memories that hurt

Hidden Wounds are Memories That Hurt

Hidden wounds are the recollections from your past that when you think about them, they still cause pain in your life. Some define them as memories of abandonment. Some have memories of abuse. Some even have memories of ridicule, criticism or hatred.

Hidden wounds come from prejudices in society. They come from family members (they are the ones that hurt the most). Sometimes they come from parents, our children, our siblings, and…

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These two volumes advocate the views of the Christian Counseling Coalition, which sets out to “help us regain our confidence in God’s Word as sufficient to address the real life issues that we face today.” Mr. Kellemen, who authored Gospel-Centered Counseling and is the editor of Scripture and Counseling, is the Executive Director of that organization.

Mr. Kellemen, as well as the other authors represented here, is concerned that the church has unwisely turned over the care of souls to professionals outside the church. They contend that this capitulation to the philosophies and methodologies of modern psychology has at its root a lack of confidence in the sufficiency of scripture to provide what is necessary for life and godliness. While it is not denied that secular psychology produces research and ideas that can be valuable to the church, it is argued that it is important to recognize that many of the approaches developed by modern psychology rest on assumptions that contradict Christian teaching. As a result, while Christian counselors almost always claim to be integrating psychological insights with biblical Christianity, one often finds inundation rather than integration. With many well-meaning…

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Helping Hands

It’s a moment many Christians have had to face: a family member’s announcement that he or she is gay.

Amid feelings of sorrow, guilt, fear and anger that families may experience surrounding such an announcement, biblical counseling experts say believers must have hope and realize that Jesus always changes those who come to Him in repentance and faith.

The “lie” that “change is impossible” for people who experience same-sex attraction “is an offense against the Gospel because change is Jesus’ gig,” Heath Lambert, assistant professor of biblical counseling at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, told Baptist Press. “We need to be infusing people with hope. We need to be infusing them with the deep conviction that Jesus has been changing people for 2,000 years and He will change you if you have faith in Him.”

Lambert; John Babler, associate professor of counseling at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary; and Sam Williams, professor of counseling at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, suggested several ways Christians can help family members struggling with same-sex attraction.

Develop a culture of honesty where family members can confess their sins and ask for help.

“In view of the mercy of God, if there is…

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Emergency Room

Some churches don’t want a recovery ministry – a ministry that specializes in helping people deal with their addictions and pain – because of the messes they’d have to get involved in. That’s tragic. Most churches in this category are less than a generation from their graves because they’ve forsaken the ministry of Jesus.

Other churches get that reaching broken, messy people matters and they’ve launched recovery ministries to reach out to people with hurts, habits, and hang-ups. But often, the recovery ministry is the part of the church we’re happy to have on the side while hoping the broken, messy people don’t find their way on stage or into the mainstream of our leadership. Recovery ministry is seen as a good cause and an evangelistic tool, but perhaps little more.

There is a third category of churches rising up. These churches understand that we are ALL broken by sin, we ALL make messes, and recovery is something we ALL desperately need. These churches may or may not have an organized program for recovery, but they’ve determined to BE a recovery ministry from Sunday morning to small groups to staff and leadership…

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“Oh God, by your name, save me … The Lord sustains my life.”

Harrison Odjeba Okene, is an early riser.  At 4:30 AM, one May morning, Harrison was getting a jump on his day as a tugboat cook on the Jascon 4, when his life turned into one of the great stories of deliverance.

The Jascon 4, one of three tugs hauling an oil laden tanker out to sea through Nigeria’s River Delta, with 11 crew, lurched, keeled over and sank into the depths of the Atlantic Ocean, coming to rest in 100 feet of water.

God, for your sake, help me! Use your influence to clear me. Listen, God—I’m desperate. Don’t be too busy to hear me. Psalm 54:1, 2 MSG

Quickly coming to grips with an emergency he couldn’t describe but knew he had to survive, Harrison freed himself from the confined space, outlasting the thrashing he took from the debris of a sinking ship as he found a place where he could better breath.  He grabbed two flashlights, his Bible, and a bottle of soda to sustain himself.  And he started to pray.

Not indiscriminate…

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Consider this predicament.  Your boss, the company CEO, has given you a high-level project.  After a few months on the job you discover that your new responsibilities involve falsifying records.  Not only that, but it appears your boss has been trying to cover up questionable accounting practices.  When you confront the CEO, he makes it clear that your career will be over if you share his secret.  He makes a strong argument that you have much more to lose than gain by going public. Then he demands your silence, asserting his authority as your supervisor to ensure you will comply.

Out of respect for his position of authority do you keep his secret? Even if means you are putting yourself at risk, now that you are knowledgeable of a crime but choosing not to report.

Now read this scenario.  Mary’s husband Jim hasn’t been himself for months – moody, short-tempered, abrupt.  One night, Mary wakes up and Jim is not there.  When she walks downstairs, the reflection of the computer screen in the dining room mirror tells the story.  Jim says he is sorry and…

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Taming ResentmentI recall a time as a pastor when my emotional skin got so thin that I took offense at just about anything anyone said. I knew it was not good, but it was like I could not stop myself. I liken that period to having “emotional rug-burn.” Rug-burn is a painful condition where friction of some sort has rubbed your skin so thin that it becomes highly sensitive to heat or touch. You can get rug-burn innocently enough, like roughhousing with your children on the floor. But when one has rug-burn, the hypersensitivity it creates makes things that normally would pass unnoticed become a painful focus of our attention.

Resentment creates the equivalent of emotional rug-burn. Resentment is an emotional response we feel towards some sort of perceived wound or slight when we do not feel we have a way of righting the wrong. Resentments are common in submission-authority relationships, with bosses or supervisors (or boards) who may operate with insensitivity or callousness to our situation. We feel we cannot respond lest we lose our jobs, so we put the wrong in an “inner warehouse” and start to store…

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