Myths About Singles (Part 1)

By Kris Swiatocho

I have been single my entire adult life. Because I am single, I have had a front row experience of how churches are reaching and growing singles adults. As a result, I have found that most churches simply did not know much about us nor how to reach us. After several years of serving on various singles ministry leadership teams as well as starting my own, God called me to help others do the same. Specifically to help reach the church, the pastors and staff; to educate and provide resources so that ALL churches would know how to reach singles. 

In my last article, I shared with you why there are so many single adults in our country. From the downward spiral of the values in our society, to the lack of leaders and parental figures to guide them to the enemies attack to good old fashion sin. Singleness is here and it continues to grow at an alarming rate. We do not have time to sit by thinking it will go down in numbers on it’s own. As a church we have to do more. We have to reach out to singles of all ages. We have to empower and educate, encourage and elevate. Single adults want to contribute. They want to help grow the church too. While some singles are called to be single if not now or for season, most are called to be married. Single adults want the leadership, guidance and support so they can have a successful married. But if you continue to ignore them, eventually they will stop coming and trying to be apart of your congregation. They will either find a church that will embrace them or stop going to church all together. The world loves single adults…then why doesn’t the church?

So in order to help reach more single adults, I am going to be writing a series of articles on the “myth’s” of single adults. I pray this helps you in establishing a way to reach them. Remember, there are many singles in the Bible that did amazing things for God, including our Savior, Jesus Christ. Don’t limit what a single person can do in your church, your ministry and even in your family and community.

Let’s clear up some myths about single adults….


Single adults have the same amount of time as any body else. However, singles never married* have the most flexible use of their time and money but are typically the least reached in the church. Singles that have been married and/or parenting kids at home, have the least flexible use of their time and money but typically have the most needs in the church. 

Today a lot of churches have started to reach out to young singles from 18-30 through college and young adult ministry. Single parent ministry is doing much better as well since so many churches have included them under “family ministry” program. Singles 45 and up are being reached through divorce and grief recovery ministries (Note: Divorce and death affect adults of all ages but in the church, we primarily see folks over 40 who come for help with divorce recovery and or a death of a spouse). So what is missing? It’s the in between age. It’s the 30 to 45ish and sometimes even over 45 that has never been married. Not only are they the least reached in the church but also they are least used when they are reach. *Statistically, never marrieds from 18 to the grave are the largest demographics among all singles, but again, we are the least number in the church.

So church, wake up and reach out to this amazing group of never marrieds or for some, “always single.” We may not have more time than you pastors that are married but we do have more flexibility with our time and money. We can be used in ways no one else in your church can. We can come in earlier, stay longer, go on mission trips, and serve in last minute needs. We can also make quick decisions regarding the use of our income. From personal experience, if you reach out to a never married, they will be more consistent with their serving and giving, more than any other demographic. So start today, look at your church stats, and find those never marrieds.

Kris Swiatocho

Kris Swiatocho is the President and Director of Ministries and Ministries. Kris has served in ministry in various capacities for the last 25 years. An accomplished trainer and mentor, Kris has a heart to reach and grow leaders so they will in turn reach and grow others. She is the author of three books: Singles and Relationships: A 31-Day Experiment, co-authored with Dick Purnell of Single Life Resources; From the Manger to the Cross: The Women in Jesus' Life; and the most recent, Jesus, Single Like Me with Study Questions. Kris is currently working on her fourth book: FAQ's of Singles Ministry coming this fall 2012.