Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
One of the biggest lies that we have been sold in America is the belief that when you get married, you will live happily ever after. People spend more time investing in a 30 minute ceremony than they do their actual marriage. Forget the glitz and glam. Your marriage starts after the ceremony. You have entered a covenant relationship with your wife and God.
So, what does Ephesians 5:25 look like when it is lived out in real life?
Marriage does not exist so that you can have lots of sex or so you can be happy. Just get rid of that belief now. Marriage will quickly show you how selfish and prideful you are. Yes. It is convicting.
To love your wife, you have to die to your self. The old self, the old man, the flesh, whatever you want to call it…it has to die.
God designed marriage to make you holy. As both of you die to yourself daily, you are seeking to serve the needs of the other. In marriage, there is no place for selfishness. It’s not about you. God brought the two of you together to be one. You are two people that love as one, make decisions as one, parent as one, you come into agreement as one.
God also designed marriage to be sanctifying. Both you and your wife should be pushing each other towards Christ. Your wife should be a better all around person because she was married to you. Do you make her life better now?
Love your wife. She is a human being. She should be your best friend. If she is not, you should probably repent. She is your helper not your slave. She is not your homey nor is she your maid.
She is your friend not your roommate that you occasionally have sex with.
She is to be cherished and treasured. Do you value her? Do you tell her that you love her? Are you excited to see her when you come home? Do you enjoy her? Do you want to take her on date nights?
You put her needs before your own.
This means that you should help her by doing things like washing dishes, doing laundry, putting the kids to bed, cooking supper or whatever takes stress off her mind. This also means that you put down the Playstation controller and engage her. Whether she knows it or not, one of the best parts of my day is just talking or praying with my wife.
Pray for your wife. You have no idea what she may or may not be struggling with or what kind of thoughts the devil plans to hit her with today. Pray for her. Praying for your wife means you care about her and you trust that God will take care of her. Praying for your wife will also change you in the process.
Remember your wife needs you to:
You can not do this alone. You have to die to yourself. You can only love your wife by the empowering of the Holy Spirit. Jesus loves her through you. Jesus teaches you how to love your wife. You just follow Him.
The more you love Jesus, the more you will love your wife.
Photo by millicent_bystander