Help! I’m an Introvert… And a Pastor


IntrovertI was already long into my ministry when I realized I was a full-blown introvert. I’m a classic case — become de-energized in big groups, re-fuel by being away from people.

I think there are a lot of misconceptions about introverts in ministry. I don’t think it’s impossible to be an introvert and also a really good pastor. In fact, I believe we need introverts. Not only are they good thinkers, but they are really good connectors too. While extroverts can seem to be the most exciting person at a party, sometimes introverts have an ability to connect with a person one-on-one that an extrovert lacks.

So how does an introvert manage his life as a pastor?

First, you have to understand yourself.

I had to realize I was an introvert before I could do anything about it. It’s been a process of self-discovery for me to develop a system and strategy that works. That process doesn’t always go seamlessly, but pastors who don’t know their own tendencies run a high risk of burning out.

If you don’t know your social tendencies there are many personality tests that can point you in the right direction. Take these tests and use the information to help guide you in the way you do your job, not to tell you what job you have to do.

You don’t have to quit your job just because you’re an introvert!

Second, set good expectations of yourself as an introvert.

Be open with your staff, and even your congregation, about this part of you. Explain that you care about people but need time by yourself. Educate them. Also, ask people who work with or near you: Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Share about yourself and learn about others. Start the conversations.

This will help you set good boundaries with each other, and good boundaries establish strong partnerships.

Finally, organize your own social calendar.

You cannot be all things to all people, or you will be nothing to anybody. Even if you are an extrovert, the same is true. You have to be realistic about your practical needs and do what you can to meet those needs. Here are some really practical things I’ve done.

Schedule down-time for yourself on trips.

There are often people who want to meet with me in other cities. I like to honor their requests, but my travel schedule is also demanding. I have to take good care of myself, or I will get sick or depressed.

Take an extrovert with you to meetings.

I started doing this years ago so that I’m not the one primarily responsible for driving the conversation. When the pressure is off, it actually makes it easier to contribute my ideas. This is all part of building a teamof people who help cover my weaknesses.

Plan days and times during your work week to be by yourself and think or study.

These are the practical steps you have to take to care for yourself so that you can continue your ministry.

Finally, connecting with people is a skill. And like any skill, this is a skill you can learn.

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

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About Justin Lathrop

With over a dozen years of local church ministry Justin has spent the last several years starting business' and ministries that partner with pastors and churches to advance the Kingdom. He is the founder of (now Vanderbloemen Search), Oaks School of Leadership, and all while staying involved in the local church.

Justin is obsessed with connecting people to people and lives his life daily to make the world a smaller place. He now serves as a consultant in the area of strategic relations predominately working with the Assemblies of God, helping to build bridges with people and ministries to more effectively reach more people.

He blogs regularly about what he has learned from making connection at

  • Simo

    I have always had the urge to leave church fast as soon as I have handled all the responsibilities due to me, and not just church, any event where I have to be around many people. I almost always have to have my own time alone after being in the multitude. It takes so much energy to be out there. I used to feel like I was ever running away from people. I would push myself to fit but it was too much. I had to be me. I enjoy my recharge time alone and it always works for me. I get to be me and best at it. (I’m Not a Pastor)

  • Pingback: Life as an Introvert | Dale Tedder

  • Doug

    what’s difficult about being an introvert is the feeling of inadequacy you get when people in the congregation don’t allow you much grace for being one.

  • Sean Nemecek

    I also am an introverted pastor. One of the most helpful discoveries for me was to learn that I am also a “Highly Sensitive Person.” HSP is common among introverted pastors. I recommend that you read The Highly Sensitve Person by Elaine N. Aron.

    • MD

      Fascinating! I had never heard of “Highly Sensitive Person”, but since I am not only an Introvert but also score high on scales that measure Asperger’s, I am very interested in what Ms. Aron has to say. Thank you!

    • invisiblechurch

      Yes, we have a pastor who is an HSP. This brings both advantages and disadvantages. He is sensitive to the voices of the congregation which is good. However he is unable to handle criticisms of any kind, and treats them as personal attacks. If someone comments that his sermon is too long, he says people are attacking him. If someone asks why he doesn’t visit any of the church members, it is also another personal attack. So it is very difficult to provide any feedback to him. This HSP behavior also leads him to think that any one who disagrees with him is out to get him sacked.
      HSP is a good thing if it is balanced with a sound mature personality, it is a nightmare when the person is immature in his Christian walk. The latter should never be a pastor until he sorts out his own disfunctional issues otherwise as a leader, he creates more problems in the church than he solves.

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