This is the fifth post in a sixteen part series on “Marriage with a Chronically Self-Centered Spouse.” In the posts three through five we will examine the criteria and categories Scripture uses to define a severe case.
It is an understatement to say that it is difficult to decipher what it going on in an argument with a self-centered spouse. If that is true for the objective counselor listening to the “slow motion replay,” then it is incredibly difficult for the spouse trying to make sense of these interactions “on the fly” in day-to-day life.
Prospect Theory, from the field of economics, can offer some helpful insight. Simply stated this theory asserts that people respond to the same situation differently based upon whether they view it as an opportunity or a threat. When “framed” as a threat people generally respond to a situation in a more reserved manner. When “framed” as an opportunity people generally respond with more creative ideas.
So what is going on in during a conflict with a self-centered spouse?
The aggressively self-centered spouse frames a threatening interaction (i.e., harsh conflict) as an…Continue Reading