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  1. Chevaughn Thompson November 30, 2017 at 5:56 am

    this was a nice read doc

  2. ModestyIsBeautiful December 12, 2016 at 8:43 am

    Something in this article caught my eye. The part where it says “don’t be a hypocrite”. My husband is a pastor and we’re just starting our ministry. However, we have been married 5 months and I noticed a BIG change in him. Change as in… he has a bad temper, an attitude, he started treating me more as a maid than a wife/partner (He use to be the complete opposite when I first met him). He has been serving God for over 10 years. I recently converted 8 months ago. (April 2016) I know this isn’t how it’s suppose to be, I’m confused. I pray to God to change his heart, but it’s frustrating to be treated this way and maintain the love, patience and treat others with love like it says in the bible. An honest opinion would be greatly appreciated.

  3. Heey there! Thiis post could not be written any better!

    Reading tthis post reminds me oof my old room mate!He always kept talking about
    this. I will forrward this post to him. Fairly
    certain he wil have a golod read. Thanms ffor sharing!

  4. Rev’d John Oni February 19, 2016 at 6:47 am

    i have just been introduced to this website and have read just three articles and feel good, my comment is that with the few articles read I love and moved to put new things learn t into practice and as well introducing same to other pastors for improvement in our service unto the Lord. May the Lord increase you and refresh your anointing daily in Jesus name

  5. Agreed Ronnie but also as is the case in many main stream first call churches, the spouse must work to provide insurance, etc. to cover things that a first call, mission church and others cannot cover. We do rely on God to provide for all of our needs but in this world at this time, demands can be put upon us that we do not choose. As always we must stay close to God and in a relationship with him to guide us, give us strength and wisdom and always to listen to him. Thank you for you words of advice. A working Pastors wife.

  6. I can’t believe I am asking for your advice because in many ways I don’t agree with your ways and teachings. I have a question. As a woman we are to be submissive, not a doormat, but what if the wife is leading more than the pastor, and he is the submissive one? And as a person in the congregation, I am not the only one that sees it. What if anything should be said.

  7. Excellent article! Unity in the spirit that shines through in ministry is definitely a plus. Our first ministry is to our family and when this is emmulated in ministry, it’s a great example for those you lead to follow.

  8. Yeah i agree this column missed the mark on many counts. If it works for Ronnie at his Church than great but these principals are definitely not broadband.

  9. I wonder how many laws you are breaking by asking such interview questions of the spouse of the candidate? Sorry to say but it’s rotten, your system.

    • James, churches can legally ask a spouse these kinds of questions as a matter of freedom of religion and as “job-specific requirements.” No laws were broken in the writing of this article.

      • Thanks for the reply (and sorry if my post seemed a little hostile, I am in a church where women are quite poorly treated and it gets to me sometimes – hope to continue discussion with love not war :)

        But OK, there are “genuine occupational requirements” in the UK, for example, that enable a Christian church to stipulate a candidate applying for a pastor job must be a Christian or which allow a model agency to look for a tall pretty female catwalk model without falling foul of discrimination law. However, I am not so sure “being married” could be said to be a “genuine occupational requirement”.

        if it is, it needs to be well worked out within the job requirement and job advertisement; and the church needs to really ask the question, “why- why does our church require our pastor to be married? Are there unmarried pastors who can shepherd this flock just as well or better? Are we missing out on them? Can we genuinely justify this?”

        I am not saying you can’t justify it in your church – each to their own and if you justify it, then good for you. But it needs to be right up there, transparently, on job adverts or key job requirements “married”. I just got the impression from this post that being married was an “unwritten rule” – the basis for a lot of evil in our society. And, if you cannot demonstrate it is a genuine occupational requirement, then asking about a spouse is for sure illegal.

        By the way, you probably know this area backwards, but in case you didn’t see this one from the UK, I found it interesting and thoughtful: http://www.religionlaw.co.uk/FWChristian.pdf


  10. We must remember that all pastors are not male and help pastors’ husbands embrace the idea of supporting their wives who are called to the pastoral ministry. While I agree that married clergy couples are one in life and ministry, the reality is that not all spouses of clergypersons are willing to accept the roles and expectations others make of them as far as ministry is concerned. Therefore, we must pray for and encourage all those who God calls into ministry whether his/her spouse walks by his/her side or not.

  11. Serving Christ July 16, 2013 at 8:18 am

    Thank you for a practical and very important article. After 43 years of ministry, I would also add that it is so important that a preacher’s wife be very close to him in spiritual growth. When it comes to ministry together, just being saved is not enough. She needs to have a soul-winner’s heart, be grounded in the Word and have a true desire to serve Him. I made that mistake. Divorce and resigning from a very successful ministry resulted. I still serve Him, but the scar of divorce has greatly limited my ministry.

  12. I don’t agree entirely with your intro. I’ve known several megachurch pastors who have terrible marriages. Overall though, the point you are making though is a good one. Healthy marriages do fuel healthy ministry, but sometimes there isn’t a direct correlation.

  13. At the church where my late husband pastored, I was the church secretary and was very much involved in teaching, women’s ministry, worship, etc. The chief elder didn’t like that–he didn’t think other members of the pastor’s family should be working at the church (he was quite paranoid that we would steal or something!). An associate pastor told us to our faces that we shouldn’t be working together, that it wasn’t good for us to be together that much! Yikes. Actually, it was so wonderful to spend that much time together and have the same goals in ministry, etc.–especially since my husband died after only 5 years of marriage. I’m forever grateful that we were together almost 24/7 for those 5 short years.

    • I absolutely love that the Senior Pastor and his wife at my church are both in the office quite a bit. She is one of two secretaries, leads 2 Bible studies, and is one of our consistent readers in service. It is a great example for my new wife and I (8 months) to watch and learn from. I don’t expect my wife to serve in the office or to lead a Bible study because that’s not where her gifts are. But my wife uses her gifts to effectively reach others who are in our church community and our area.