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  1. The best element is, you won’t even be able to tell the
    difference between your beats and beats made in real recording studios.
    A lot of engineering producers start out as either mixing engineers or assistant engineers to record label producers.
    This way, he will give you better, improved and
    totally interesting lessons which you can breeze through
    without stress.

  2. Michael Ratliff July 21, 2014 at 8:55 pm

    The Baptist Church down the street had this on their sign.

    Know Jesus, no peace
    No Jesus Know peace.

    It was there for a week before someone realized what was said.
    The one before that was when they got their new building
    We are having a community grill come grow with us.
    I also saw every church in nashvill tn, when I was stationed at Ft. Campbell said where Jesus is lord.

    We passed a synagogue, and it had that on their board too, followed by, we are just trying to fit in. That cracked me up.

  3. Rhonda M. Schmidt July 11, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    In my mother-in-law’s church, she was upset w/ me for giggling at this: “Church Council Members, please check your drawers.”

  4. These are all so great! Many of them made me laugh out loud. A long time ago I heard of a blooper that read ” The Little Mothers Group will be meeting on Yhursday mornings at ten. Anyone interested in becoming a Little Mother please see the Pastor in his study.

  5. pit bull lover May 10, 2014 at 11:13 am

    There is a new female pastor in our old church and during her first sermon instead of saying the devil throws fiery darts at you she said the devil throws fiery farts at you lol

  6. I was leading a conference and I managed to put In the flyer break for snakes and fellowship.

  7. Easter Sunday 2014 bulletin reads: “Christ is Resin! Older, conservative, Lutheran congregation.. heeheee

  8. Thank you for the laughs!

  9. Those are funny, it would be hard to pick a favorite. We had a bulletin and on the very front ” Welcome to…….Church. Pastor Jim & Joanne O’Connor / Ass pastors Marty & Mitzi Tolou”

  10. 40 on down are the funniest. Sadly, 40 seems the most true of how it can be in some of our churches!!

  11. In our church bulletin one time it said “We would like to congratulate Tony and Renee on the birth of their 4th child this week”. They keep that bulletin in the baby book. lol

  12. My husband saw a church sign with this message – Revival Friday night with Jack Daniels!!

  13. Our fellowship bulletin this week had the following section: “DOMINATIONAL AFFAIRS COMMITTEE” followed by “Read a bit about the exciting UU Pacific Western Regional Assembly held recently in San Jose.”

    The blooper in the title made me wonder what exactly they were doing at that exciting Assembly ;-)

  14. Thanks for the laughs Brother Charles. I love the one on Bertha Belch. Another of my favorites–don’t think I saw it here (did I miss it?): The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours”

  15. My sister and i were at a funeral one day and they played the song Go Rest High on the Mountain. I couldnt help but bust into laughter when she leaned over and asked why it said “there is pie on the mountain.”

  16. #4 made me literally laugh out loud. Great list.

  17. I need to start taking pictures, I’ve seen a couple funny sayings on our churches program cover, would have been nice to share. :)

  18. I heard this one…’next weeks preacher will be pinned to the notice board’! I liked the low self esteem and the rear door! Thanks

  19. ‎”Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.” 
    BaHahahaha!

  20. My folks started working in a new church.  On Saturday the pastor’s wife showed my mom the bulletin and the first thing she saw was “Please bring your bowels to the Ice Cream social this evening.”  Needless to say they spent the afternoon changing it to bowls.

    More recently the church my folks now attend had a program made for a banquet that was being held.  For desert they had “chocolate mouse.”  Obviously left out the second “s”.

  21. Vinceburke60068 March 27, 2012 at 9:24 am

    We were gathered in the Philippines for the memorial service of a fellow missionary. At the close of the service we sang “It is Well With My Soul.” Pockets of stifled laughter broke out when we got to the last verse of the song and saw the misprint, the missing “t” as you see here
    And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
    The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
    The rump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
    Even so, it is well with my soul.
     
     

  22. I once did a sermon based on Mark Batterson’s book In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day and called it Loin Chasers.

  23. We’re living in serious times: as of lately, we’ve heard about people who died who have never died before.