44 Funny Church Bulletin Bloopers To Make You Smile

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LaughingI hope the people at your church know it is okay to smile every once in a while.  Even laugh occasionally (but not during the pastor’s sermon, please!).  Sometimes I think we take the things that happen at church a bit too seriously.

Do you know what I mean?

No, I’m not talking about things like sin or theology or repentance or anything like that.  Certainly those things have their place and should always be taken quite seriously, indeed.

Actually, I’m talking about the lighter things that happen in and around your church.  Like the things that appear in your Sunday morning church bulletin, for example.

Rarely does anyone ever create the Sunday bulletin and then run it by the pastor or a few sanctified editors for things like punctuation, clarity, etc…but maybe we should.  Why do I say that, you ask?  Well, read the following list of actual church bulletin bloopers and you’ll understand why.

These are funny, embarrassing, hilarious, and…oh, just read them yourself.  Enjoy, and share them with someone at your church who needs a good laugh!

  1. Due to the Rector’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
  2. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
  3. The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
  4. On a church bulletin during the minister’s illness: GOD IS GOOD; Dr. Hargreaves is better.
  5. Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.
  6. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth Into Joy.”
  7. If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check, and drip in the collection basket.
  8. Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on “It’s a Terrible Experience.”
  9. Don’t miss this Saturday’s exhibit by Christian Martian Arts.
  10. We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector.
  11. A worm welcome to all who have come today.
  12. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson’s sermons.
  13. During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
  14. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
  15. The ushers will come forward and take our ties and offerings.
  16. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
  17. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  18. Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.
  19. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
  20. Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.
  21. Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.
  22. Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
  23. The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
  24. The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
  25. Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.
  26. The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
  27. The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
  28. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
  29. 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
  30. The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
  31. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?”. Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  32. The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
  33. The music for today’s service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
  34. A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
  35. Today’s Sermon: How Much Can a Man Drink? with hymns from a full choir.
  36. Hymn: “I Love Thee My Ford.”
  37. Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  38. Women’s Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication.
  39. Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.”
  40. The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
  41. Ushers will eat latecomers.
  42. Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
  43. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
  44. Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.

QUESTIONS FOR COMMENTING BELOW: What funny things have you ever found in your own church’s Sunday bulletin? And which one of the above bloopers made you laugh the most?

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About Charles Specht

Charles Specht is a bi-vocational pastor, an author, an insurance consultant, and a father to 5 children (2 adopted from China with "special needs").

He blogs and speaks frequently on the topics of Influence, Faith, Leadership, Men's Health, Personal Growth, and Productivity. He is the editor and community facilitator for GodlyWriters.com, exercising a healthy passion for reading and writing, serving Christ, and for figuring out how the worlds of traditional- and self-publishing are evolving before our eyes.

He lives in central California with his wife, Kathy, their five children, and too many pets to mention. You can visit his personal website at CharlesSpecht.com, his "Church" blog at CrazyAboutChurch.com, and his Christian writer's blog at GodlyWriters.com.

Be sure to connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, Google+, and LinkedIn.

  • Tamika May

    Thank you for the laughs!

  • Carla

    Those are funny, it would be hard to pick a favorite. We had a bulletin and on the very front ” Welcome to…….Church. Pastor Jim & Joanne O’Connor / Ass pastors Marty & Mitzi Tolou”

  • msles59130

    40 on down are the funniest. Sadly, 40 seems the most true of how it can be in some of our churches!!

  • Karen

    In our church bulletin one time it said “We would like to congratulate Tony and Renee on the birth of their 4th child this week”. They keep that bulletin in the baby book. lol

  • Hands!

    My husband saw a church sign with this message – Revival Friday night with Jack Daniels!!

  • Amaralee

    Our fellowship bulletin this week had the following section: “DOMINATIONAL AFFAIRS COMMITTEE” followed by “Read a bit about the exciting UU Pacific Western Regional Assembly held recently in San Jose.”

    The blooper in the title made me wonder what exactly they were doing at that exciting Assembly ;-)

  • http://www.facebook.com/Psalmist1972 Doug Paul

    Thanks for the laughs Brother Charles. I love the one on Bertha Belch. Another of my favorites–don’t think I saw it here (did I miss it?): The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours”

  • pk1

    My sister and i were at a funeral one day and they played the song Go Rest High on the Mountain. I couldnt help but bust into laughter when she leaned over and asked why it said “there is pie on the mountain.”

  • http://www.chattykelly.com Kelly Combs

    #4 made me literally laugh out loud. Great list.

  • Jackie

    I need to start taking pictures, I’ve seen a couple funny sayings on our churches program cover, would have been nice to share. :)

  • Ian

    I heard this one…’next weeks preacher will be pinned to the notice board’! I liked the low self esteem and the rear door! Thanks

    • http://www.crazyaboutchurch.com/ Charles Specht

      Ouch! Pinned to the door, huh?

  • http://www.sortingbeans.com/ Jonathan Woodward

    ‎”Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.” 
    BaHahahaha!

    • http://www.crazyaboutchurch.com/ Charles Specht

      My favorite is the one about Bertha Belch.

  • Fido

    My folks started working in a new church.  On Saturday the pastor’s wife showed my mom the bulletin and the first thing she saw was “Please bring your bowels to the Ice Cream social this evening.”  Needless to say they spent the afternoon changing it to bowls.

    More recently the church my folks now attend had a program made for a banquet that was being held.  For desert they had “chocolate mouse.”  Obviously left out the second “s”.

    • http://www.crazyaboutchurch.com/ Charles Specht

      Those are funny, Fido.  

    • Rose

      THESE ARE ALL SO GOD! (ILLIMINATED “O” intended). ;)*** Thank you for them.***

  • Vinceburke60068

    We were gathered in the Philippines for the memorial service of a fellow missionary. At the close of the service we sang “It is Well With My Soul.” Pockets of stifled laughter broke out when we got to the last verse of the song and saw the misprint, the missing “t” as you see here
    And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
    The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
    The rump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
    Even so, it is well with my soul.
     
     

    • http://www.CrazyAboutChurch.com/ Charles Specht

      Good one!  I need to add that to the list!

  • Bgbulmer

    I once did a sermon based on Mark Batterson’s book In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day and called it Loin Chasers.

    • http://www.CrazyAboutChurch.com/ Charles Specht

      Nice!

  • http://twitter.com/olwage henk olwage

    We’re living in serious times: as of lately, we’ve heard about people who died who have never died before. 

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